That Mutt's Never Gonna Be In The Pictures, Kid

That mutt'll never be a star, y'hear me? Never.

Questions include: Lying to save a marriage, height differences, and where is Obi-Wan even from??

VISIT OUR HOMEPAGE IF YOU SPOOKY AND SHIT. 

***Want your question answered on the show? CALL us at 9894427575 -- (989) 44-ASK-RL --  or submit ANONYMOUSLY through our Google Form here -- https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSejd21WU8fv_6vmoroSRfh_6-Xbd9j_1QklyIxXeZUjYy7f2Q/viewform?c=0&flr=0&gxids=7628&vc=0&w=1 

Find bonus episodes and more on our Patreon here -- https://www.patreon.com/roommatelovers 

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Produced by Maggie Smith, Kyle Mantegna, Alex Romero, Mariah Michael, Clark Pavlik. Narrated by Beth Kuhn. Theme Music by Kyle Mantegna & Maggie Smith. Edit Kyle Mantegna.

QUESTIONS THIS EPISODE:

REDDIT: So my roommates room is directly above the living room and the walls are really thin sadly. Sometimes I watch tv late at night when she is in bed but I will have it on super quiet. 

But she will make a comment about it or send me a message. Now it’s starting to get on my nerves as I don’t have it on loud at all. I have it so quiet I can barely bloody hear it. Not everyone wants to sleep at 10. I feel anxious now whenever I have the tv on a bit late. It’s ridiculous. Apparently she already has earplugs. 

I feel like she’s expecting to do her own thing like she lives alone but you have to compromise living with others. 

How can I deal with this situation??

Alias Shorty

From Downtown

My bf is the same height as me and when we first started dated my friends commented on it. I don’t think it’s a big deal but it’s come up a couple times and annoys me. What do I say?

From Dear Abby, Dec 9, 1960: DEAR ABBY: I went to a card reader who told me my lucky number is three. I know she is right because on the third of September I met Louie and I fell for him right awey. This card reader said I would find happiness with the third man I fell in tove with and she was right again because Louie is my third big love affair. He has been married twice before. (See, I am lucky three!) * I want to know if you think I am putting too much trust in the card reader. (She described Louie to a "T" and she never Oven taw him. and everything In my pest happened just like she said it did.) My brother says I am plum nuts.

From Dear Abby, Dec 9, 1960, DEAR ABBY; My husband lies for his buddy and expects me to do the same. When this buddy’s little pregnant wife calls here looking for her husband. I am supposed to say, "He Was here but he just left.” Then I’m supposed to call a number where this no good chiseling bum is. And tell him his "mother” is looking for him. My husband says we are helping to save a marriage, but I don't see it that way. My conscience bothers me. What would you dc in my place?

I Don't Like My Boyfriend's Beard

Honestly, i wish i was u rn listening to this episode for the first time, you lucky duck. 

Questions include: not liking your boyfriend's beard, sibling-themed couples halloween costumes, and your wife sleeping in the raw. 

VISIT OUR HOMEPAGE IF YOU SPOOKY AND SHIT. 

***Want your question answered on the show? CALL us at (989) 44-ASK-RL -- [ 9894427575 ] -- or submit ANONYMOUSLY through our Google Form here -- https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSejd21WU8fv_6vmoroSRfh_6-Xbd9j_1QklyIxXeZUjYy7f2Q/viewform?c=0&flr=0&gxids=7628&vc=0&w=1

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Find bonus episodes and more on our Patreon here -- https://www.patreon.com/roommatelovers

Produced by Maggie Smith, Kyle Mantegna, Alex Romero, Mariah Michael, Clark Pavlik. Narrated by Beth Kuhn, Theme Music by Kyle Mantegna & Maggie Smith, Edit Kyle Mantegna

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QUESTIONS IN THIS EPISODE:

REDDIT: I don’t like my bf’s beard.

Also, I love him regardless of everything so I'm not THAT bothered, but still a little bit.

Okay so let me paint a picture for you. He looks stunning, he has the best facial features I have ever seen, perfect eyes, perfect nose, perfect lips - I'm jealous. But I feel like the way he keeps his beard takes away from everything that's gorgeous on his face. 

Don't get me wrong, I don't have anything against beards, just the unkept ones. He says he doesn't really care and will do whatever I'd want him to do. But there's one thing I don't like is someone dictating how I keep myself, so I try to respect the same morals for him too. I would never dictate how he keeps himself. The problem is that he doesn't "keep" anything. He lets it grow however it wants to, no shaping, no trimming and it looks bad. 

I don't wanna say like hey you don't look good when you do that to your beard, cuz I'm afraid it'll hurt him. Hell, if someone told me how I did my hair made me look ugly, I would be upset too.

So what the f*** do I do? Am I petty for thinking that about him? I just want him to put a little bit of an effort in his looks. He doesn't dress up at all. He just has a bunch of black t-shirts and shorts which I guess is fine, whatever. I guess dressing up is really a girl's thing. Beard is like make up for men. It can really define how your face looks. And I love him regardless but I still want him to look presentable.

What do I do?

DEAR ABBY: My wife sleeps in the raw. Then she showers, brushers her teeth and fixes breakfast -- still in the buff. We're newlyweds and there are just the two of us, so I suppose there's really nothing wrong with it. What do you think? -ED

REDDIT: is it weird for a couple in a romantic relationship to go as a sibling couple for Halloween?

From 1960 DEAR ABBY: I am in love with two boys and don't know which one to marry. First, there's Andy. He's sort of blond and sells insurance. Mama likes him, which helps a lot. He's very reliable and seems anxious to get married. Then there's Tony. He's dark and sort of gives me the creeps. (But they're awfully nice creeps, if you know what I mean.) I don't know which one I like best. In the daytime I like Andy, but I believe I like Tony better at night. Which one do you think would make the best husband for me? -ANDY OR TONY?

Moving

Knock knock, who’s there, it’s the Roommate Lovers, who the DON HECK did you expect? 

Our hosts had a hectic week of moving, but that hasn’t stopped them answering listener-submitted questions and giving friggin’ awesome answers and also at times sorta trailing off into run-on sentences and random thoughts and what's the deal with golf clothes?

Questions include: Why am I the one who always initiates sex? How do you tell your co-host to stop smoking weed during a recording? How do you divvy up closet space? 

Featuring special guest Lizzy Rudakas! Find Lizzy on Twitch under radiator_burnhere:  https://www.twitch.tv/radiator_burn

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***Want your question answered on the show? Go to our site or submit ANONYMOUSLY through our Google Form here -- https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSejd21WU8fv_6vmoroSRfh_6-Xbd9j_1QklyIxXeZUjYy7f2Q/viewform?c=0&flr=0&gxids=7628&vc=0&w=1

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Find bonus episodes and more on our Patreon here -- https://www.patreon.com/roommatelovers

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Produced by Maggie Smith, Kyle Mantegna, Alex Romero, Mariah Michael, Clark Pavlik

Narrated by Beth Kuhn, Theme Music by Kyle Mantegna & Maggie Smith, Edit Kyle Mantegna

Visit our homepage for all the goods. 

QUESTION IN THIS EPISODE:

MOVING:

How do you decide who gets what closet/bathroom space for things?

What criteria do you look at when deciding who you can ask to help you move?

Alias: Another Podcaster

In: My living room

How do you tell your friend you want to do the podcast sober and not high? This friend always high when we record.  I don’t want this friend to feel I’m trying to change them. All I’m asking is just for an hour or two of sober-ness to record.

The Initiator

FROM: The Bedroom

I’ve been with my girlfriend for a little over 3 months now after a couple of months of casual hooking up, recently I’ve been feeling that I’m the one who always has to initiate sex. I feel like I always have to be the one to start touching and kissing her and I feel like if I didn’t she would never do it first to me and we’d never have sex. There have been plenty of times where I start touching her and she tells me she’s horny and I go down on her and then she doesn’t do anything in return to me she just lays there and cuddles me instead. This is fine as she doesn’t owe me anything in return, however it makes me feel like she just has no interest in doing something to me. This coupled with the fact that I feel like I have to always initiate sex makes me think that maybe she doesn’t enjoy it and when she does do it, she’s only doing it because she feels like she has to. How should I go about bringing this up to her?

Pokemon Oreos

How would I describe this episode? In a word, golden-y.  Cuz when it comes to giving relationship advice, the Roommate Lovers have the Midas touch. 

Questions include: Can exes still be friends? Should I be mad that my boyfriend uninvited me somewhere? What is the best response to a “good morning” text? If I ask out a friend, will it ruin the relationship?

And, special phone a friend swoops in to answer a question: Alex Romero.

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***Want your question answered on the show? Go to our site or submit ANONYMOUSLY through our Google Form here -- https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSejd21WU8fv_6vmoroSRfh_6-Xbd9j_1QklyIxXeZUjYy7f2Q/viewform?c=0&flr=0&gxids=7628&vc=0&w=1

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Find bonus episodes and more on our Patreon here -- https://www.patreon.com/roommatelovers

Need groceries? Sign up for Instacart using this link to help support the show and get FOOD. Free shipping over $10!

Find Roommate Lovers on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram. For videos of Kyle & Maggie, check out Make It Up Media on YouTube.  

Produced by Maggie Smith, Kyle Mantegna, Alex Romero, Mariah Michael, Clark Pavlik, Narrated by Beth Kuhn, Theme Music by Kyle Mantegna & Maggie Smith, Edit Kyle Mantegna

Visit our homepage for all the goods. 

ALIAS Show Me The Meaning Of Being Lonely

From That Street In The Back 

My boyfriend invited me to a concert of an artist he’s a huge fan of and that I listen to sometimes.. I said yeah of course I’ll go.. I love live music and I actually enjoy this artist. 

Boyfriend then disinvites me because his two really good guy friends who are “loyal fans” want to go and they’ll have a boys night. 

Am I petty for being upset because I’m no longer included? I was looking forward to going and do not know why it can’t be all 4 of us.

Alias:  *

It’s Mariah

My bathroom

I miss my friends.  They liv e in LA.  Do you think they miss me too or that they have a NEW Mariah?  Please write back.

Alias Copa
From Copa Cabana

Can exes be friends or will there always be something there?

Alias: Texter
From: The AM

Hello all, my GF (19f) sends me (22m) a good morning text every day, which I love and it’s something she likes to do. 

What’s something I could reply with to spice it up so it doesn’t get monotonous?

Alias Ross

From NY

Me and this girl have been friends for about the beginning of high school and I’m out of college now and she is almost done but we’ve been texting recently a lot. We’ve been friends for so long now and I’m completely fine with that but I’m unsure how she actually feels about me and I don’t want to ruin our friendship so I don’t wanna ask her. I’m going up to her college this weekend and a good amount of our friends will be there too. Everytime we’re around each other though we don’t talk as much as we text which is odd because I’m very open and so is she. Any advice?

Hot Apple Juice

The Roommate Lovers have outdone themselves in this episode. They answer relationship questions like they’re candy, which is weird cuz you don’t answer candy. 

Questions include: What do I do if I really, really hate my in-laws? How can I stop my fiance from wanting a Star Trek wedding? Why does my boyfriend always turn all of the lights off?

***Want your question answered on the show? Go to our site or submit ANONYMOUSLY through our Google Form here -- https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSejd21WU8fv_6vmoroSRfh_6-Xbd9j_1QklyIxXeZUjYy7f2Q/viewform?c=0&flr=0&gxids=7628&vc=0&w=1 ***

Find bonus episodes and more on our Patreon.

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Need groceries? Sign up for Instacart using this link to help support the show and get FOOD. Free shipping over $10!

Find Roommate Lovers on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram. For videos of Kyle & Maggie, check out Make It Up Media on YouTube.  

Produced by Maggie Smith, Kyle Mantegna, Alex Romero, Mariah Michael, Clark Pavlik. Narrated by Beth Kuhn, Theme Music by Kyle Mantegna & Maggie Smith, Edit Kyle Mantegna

Visit our homepage for all the goods. 

Questions asked on this week’s podcast:

Alias: Wedding woes

In: Alabama

My Roommate Lover and I are getting married! But my fiance has always dreamed of having a literal Star Trek wedding. I have always dreamed of having a classic, small, non-space themed wedding. Please, help me figure out how to tell her there is no way I am doing a Star Trek wedding. 

Alias: Picky eater

In: Midwest

What do you if someone you love goes to great lengths to make you their favorite dish...and you absolutely hate it?

Alias: Girlfriend in law

Writing from: An honestly very good relationship

What do you do if you HATE your boyfriend’s parents?

Alias: Buzz

Writing from: Lightyears away

I recently moved in with my Roommate Lover and am realizing that he is weirdly strict about keeping the lights off--he pretty much keeps them off all of the time, even in the rooms that don’t get sunlight. I’m all for saving energy/money, but I don’t want my place to be dark literally all of the time. How do I fix him, please?

Alias: Fidget

In: Brooklyn

My boyfriend is a fidgeter. This is fine, except oftentimes he clicks things, like his pen. I find the repetitive noises incredibly and irrationally irritating. I’ve told him this and he stops, but he can’t help but start back up later. Wtf do we do?

Alias: Mom me

In: Van Nuys

Dear god, I can feel myself turning into my mother. What the hell do I do about this?

Always The Pharaoh, Never The Priest

Looks like it’s that time of  the week again, folks. Time for the incredible, insightful, and entirely inspiring answers to your questions. Featuring "phone a friend" guests -- Mariah Michael and Andrew Newton. 

Questions include: How do I get my sister to stop taking my stuff? How do I get my girlfriend’s family to accept my career? And 1999's The Mummy.

Want your question answered on the show? Go to our site or submit ANONYMOUSLY through our Google Form here -- https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSejd21WU8fv_6vmoroSRfh_6-Xbd9j_1QklyIxXeZUjYy7f2Q/viewform?c=0&flr=0&gxids=7628&vc=0&w=1

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Find bonus episodes and more on our Patreon here -- https://www.patreon.com/roommatelovers

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Need groceries? Sign up for Instacart using this link to help support the show and get FOOD. Free shipping over $10!

Find Roommate Lovers on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram. For videos of Kyle & Maggie, check out Make It Up Media on YouTube.  

Produced by Maggie Smith, Kyle Mantegna, Alex Romero, Mariah Michael, Clark Pavlik

Narrated by Beth Kuhn, Theme Music by Kyle Mantegna & Maggie Smith, Edit Kyle Mantegna

Visit our homepage for all the goods. 

QUESTIONS ASKED:

ALIAS Frustrated Friend

FROM Halloweentown

My serious girlfriends family is always making comments about my chosen career path -- an actor. They’re always suggesting I try something more stable and hinting that it’s a bad path I’m on. I think it’s none of their business and I try to brush it off, but it keeps getting to me. What should I do?

Alias Ghost

FROM the beyond

You’re invisible for 24 hours, what do you do?

Alias Pharoah-no

From Sandy Hill

In the 1999 film The Mummy starring Brendan Frasier, at the start of the film, in flashback, the high priest Imhotep has an affair with Anck-su-namun who is the mistress of some Pharoah guy. Dude finds out about the affair and then the pair KILL him. They flee and Anck kills herself believing Imhotep can resurrect her, but before he can, he gets captured and buried alive. What should I do if I’m always the Pharaoh never the priest? 

Alias Sister Sister

from Borrowed Time

My sister is always taking my things - clothes, jewelry, you name it. We don’t live together anymore and yet, it still happens. What’s a girl to do?

ALIAS Not The Goo Dolls

From Rocksville

My bandmate is always pushing for his way on the direction for the group. He’s never listening to my/our ideas and we often just end up going with his way. He’s got good ideas but I think we do too.  Is it time to call it quits?

Nice Guys Finish Last

Our classic duo duels the doldrums by dolling out delicious danswers -- and by "danswers" we mean answers to your questions, but we were kinda on a D kick (that's what she said).

Topics include: how to nicely end a relationship, somebody cheating, and who runs Antarctica, people?

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Want your question answered on the show? Submit ANONYMOUSLY through our Google Form here.

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Find bonus episodes and more on our Patreon!

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Wanna start a podcast? Check out Buzzsprout using this link and get a $20 Amazon gift card when you sign up for 2 months!

Find Roommate Lovers on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram. For videos of Kyle & Maggie, check out Make It Up Media on YouTube.  

Produced by Maggie Smith, Kyle Mantegna, Alex Romero, Mariah Michael, Clark Pavlik Narrated by Beth Kuhn, Theme Music by Kyle Mantegna & Maggie Smith, Edit Kyle Mantegna

QUESTIONS THIS EP:

Not Nice Gal

Down Town

I've been dating a "nice guy" for a couple years and feel like I should end it but don't kknow how. I'm stressed and start fights and I think he's avoiding me sometimes. I'm not sure if I should try to fix this or leave, but I don't know how to end it with him if I need to. What should I do?

Pumpking Eater

Intenseville

Uh oh. My friend cheated on his wife and Idk what to do! He feels bad and regrets it, but doesn't seem to want to tell her. Should I? Should he? Should we all just die alone?

Lambaster

Nowhere

Why can’t sour cream be a dip?

 Alias:  *

Gaga

lala

I moved back in with my parents after college to save up. With COVID they've got super used to me here. They try to drag me into arguments about things that have nothing to do with me, like blaming generic "millennial" things on me, like I'm the spokesperson for a whole generation. Should I keep saving or leave? Gaga!

Epilogues, yes or no?

Worst Breakups

Our intrepid hosts do the impossible yet again. The impossible being giving amazing answers to your relationship questions. 

Questions include: How do I get my roommate to stop touching my stuff? What is the worst way you’ve been broken up with? How can I make my roommate’s girlfriend to stop coming over here while she’s gone? 

ALSO: Don't do it at the gate, wait.

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Want your question answered on the show? Submit ANONYMOUSLYthrough our Google Form here.

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• Find the Patreon here!

• Need groceries? Sign up for Instacart using this link to help support the show and get FOOD. Free shipping over $10!

• Find Roommate Lovers on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram. For videos of Kyle & Maggie, check out Make It Up Media on YouTube.

Produced by Maggie Smith, Kyle Mantegna, Alex Romero, Mariah Michael, Clark Pavlik
Narrated by Beth Kuhn, Theme Music by Kyle Mantegna & Maggie Smith, Edit Kyle Mantegna

QUESTIONS ASKED THIS TIME:

Alias: Funny in love

In: Ravenswood

I’m ready to tell my bf that I love him. We’re both in the chicago comedy scene, and I want to make my declaration funny. What’s a good way to say I love you but also make it comedy?

Alias: Mine mine mine

In: Denver

My roommate is a good friend of mine, but he doesn’t appreciate...possession. We’re close, so he always feels like he can go through my stuff. But I hate it. We’ve talked about it but nothing has stuck. What else can I do to discourage this behaviour?

Alias: roomie gloomie

In: Chicago

My roommate travels a lot for work, and is honestly rarely home. But her GF still comes over all the time and stays in her room. This really bothers me, because I didn’t sign up for this. What do I say/do to make this stop?

IG: What is the worst way you’ve been broken up with?

Over Skype, muted

[ghost emoji]

Ghosted.

Over email.

At the airport gate while having to take the same flight home.

While looking at a seamless pizza menu, “actually I don’t want pizza, I want to break up.”

On Halloween in a dorm stairwell, dressed as Audrey Hepburn

A friend was broken up with over iPhone notes--she handed him her phone to read it in a starbucks.

They left for Denver and didnt’ tell me!

Mailman Jerry

Ding dong, who’s at the door? It’s a brand new thing we’re doing! What is it? Well, it’s special guest Jesse Swanson being our mail carrier, duh! Idiot. Don't’ worry, though, the Roommate Lovers still answer your questions about love and stuff. 

Questions like: What tips do you have for moving in together?  Why does my partner always get their furniture from the street? If my partner bought and iPad, is it also my iPad? 

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Want your question answered on the show? Submit ANONYMOUSLY through our Google Form here.

Find the Patreon here!

Find Roommate Lovers on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram. For videos of Kyle & Maggie, check out Make It Up Media on YouTube.  

Produced by Maggie Smith, Kyle Mantegna, Alex Romero, Mariah Michael, Clark Pavlik
Narrated by Beth Kuhn, Theme Music by Kyle Mantegna & Maggie Smith, Edit Kyle Mantegna

Questions Asked:

Alias: For the table?

Writing from: London

My Roommate Lover purchased an iPad. We live together, and it lives in the living room. So is it our iPad? 

Alias: Curbside pickup

In: S.F.

 My partner frequently picks up furniture/other stuff that people leave out on the curb. I don’t love this. Sure, there’s some cool stuff every now and then, but I’m a way more minimalist person and I’m worrying that this is going to get a littler hoarder-y.

Alias: future roomie

In: Chicago

I’m moving in with my lover...soo to be roommate lover. What do you two remember about when you first moved in together and what is your advice?

San Diego & The Big B

Birthday revelry wouldn’t stop the Roommate Lovers from recording an episode in the middle of their day trip to San Diego. No friggin’ way, Jo friggin’ se.

Questions include: How do I avoid a friend who keeps trying to hang out? How should I greet my partner’s parents when I meet them for the first time? 

Want your question answered on the show? Submit ANONYMOUSLYthrough our Google Form here.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Find the Patreon here!

Find Roommate Lovers on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram. For videos of Kyle & Maggie, check out Make It Up Media on YouTube.  

Produced by Maggie Smith, Kyle Mantegna, Alex Romero, Mariah Michael, Clark Pavlik
Narrated by Beth Kuhn, Theme Music by Kyle Mantegna & Maggie Smith, Edit Kyle Mantegna

Questions:

Alias: Awkwardiosa

Writing from: Canada

Meeting boyfriend's parents for the first time. They're french. Stressful moment: Should I go for kisses on the cheeks, hugs, or a conservative handshake? Or are we now just shyly hand waving for afar because of covid?

Alias: HELP

Writing from: Albuquerque 

My friend just moved here and wants to hang out all the time.  I have an RL now though, it’s not like college when I was single.  And I kind of don’t want to hang out more than once a year.  What do I do?

Pictures Of Guys Holding Fish

Bing bang boom, folks, the Roommate Lovers have bing-ed it again. 

They answer relationship questions like there’s no tomorrow. Questions like: Should I feel guilty that my partner makes more money than me? What should I put in my dating app profile? Is it ok for me to text my partner’s mom?

Want your question answered on the show? Submit ANONYMOUSLY through our Google Form here.

------------------------------------------

Find the Patreon here!

Need groceries? Sign up for Instacart using this link to help support the show and get FOOD. Free shipping over $10!

Find Roommate Lovers on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram. For videos of Kyle & Maggie, check out Make It Up Media on YouTube.

Produced by Maggie Smith, Kyle Mantegna, Alex Romero, Mariah Michael, Clark Pavlik
Narrated by Beth Kuhn, Theme Music by Kyle Mantegna & Maggie Smith, Edit Kyle Mantegna

QUESTIONS ASKED THIS WEEK:

Alias: Accidental Gold Digger

In: Mass

My Roommate Lover makes a lot more money than me, and is very generous with it. Treats me to stuff, takes me out, pays more for rent, etc. But I am poor. I know it doesnt sound like much of a problem, but basically I have this guilt at all times. Does she expect me to reciprocate one day? Cuz rn I cannot.

Alias:  In LAW-v

In:  Arizona

My partner and I have been together for a while now and he has a really cool mom--we get along really well and have a lot of the same interests. My question is this: At what point am I allowed to text her without my partner being a part of the conversation?

Alias: Bio Writer

In: Palm Springs, CA

I am single and getting on the apps. What should I put in my profile?

Alias: Wait wait do tell me

In: Chicago

I am on several dating app and my question is this: how long do you wait before messaging that you want to meet in person? 

Alias: Pumpkin Eater

In: Chicago

My RL revealed to me that she has cheated on her partner in the past. It was 6 years ago and only once...but still it makes me nervous. Please tell me your thoughts. 

Alias: Movie Watcher

In: Love

Is there such a thing as true love?

Friendzone

If you were expecting this episode of Roommate Lovers to suck, you’re in for a big surprise cuz guess what? It doesn’t suck. 

• Listener-submitted questions include: Who chooses what to watch each night? What are some good toys to bring into the bedroom? Has COVID killed buffets?

Want your question answered on the show? Submit ANONYMOUSLY through our Google Form here.

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Find the Patreon here!

Wanna start a podcast? Check out Buzzsprout using this link and get a $20 Amazon gift card when you sign up for 2 months!

///---/

Find Roommate Lovers on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram. For videos of Kyle & Maggie, check out Make It Up Media on YouTube.  

Produced by Maggie Smith, Kyle Mantegna, Alex Romero, Mariah Michael, Clark Pavlik

Narrated by Beth Kuhn, Theme Music by Kyle Mantegna & Maggie Smith, Edit Kyle Mantegna

QUESTIONS IN THIS EP:

Alias: CROSSED WIRES

In: the bedroom

The other night my RL suggested we spice things up by bringing toys into the bedroom. So later that night, we played rock-em sock-em robots and Battleship in the bedroom as opposed to the living room. It was nice, because we typically have to clean up afterwards and then go to bed. But not here! Are there other toys that you would suggest?

Alias: NOT HAPPY

In: Buffet bathroom

Realize this is for Roommate lovers but I'm on a first date right now and it is NOT going well. I'm sorry but I do not want to go to an all you can eat buffet on a first date DURING COVID. I'm debating on if I just Ghost him or if I confront this. Am I partly to blame because by sitting down at this place, I am complacent in the location? Gross.

Instagram Q: Who decides what to watch each night? Like Netflix or Hulu or whatever.

Where are your writing us from: Chicago - I've discovered that there is no character limit on the Location and Alias name so I am going to type my question here from now on. And, if there turns out there IS a limit on the alias, I can just continue my question in the actual question box. Of course, this is only going to be a one time thing because the second you see I've made this discovery you are going to take away my joy. That's not fair and, frankly, it's mean. Regardless, I'm going to take advantage of it while I can.   

Alias: Sad Single Bear - Follow up once again, This is the bears fan who now has no girlfriend. I’m not saying it was all your fault but I’m definitely going to say it’s a little bit your fault. Granted, Maggie DID say “this never ever works in movies or books or shows or stories or anything.” But I figured if it didn’t work in those settings MAYBE it would work in real life. So when I wrote out the insults like “Your family owned a donkey who shit himself to death” and “Your father is not your real father” only to find out that last “insult” WAS TRUE, I was put in a particularly precarious situation. I tried sending the gift basket of dried legumes and nuts ONLY TO FIND OUT that the mother is HIGHLY ALLERGIC to nuts. Now they think I’m trying to very much hurt them after they hurt my feelings. When they confronted me with this, I reverted back to your advice from the wormtail episode and just started screaming “SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU FUCKING CHEESEHEADS!” Apparently “cheesehead” is a derogatory term that they are NOT ok with. Which is all to say, Do you know of any movers in Chicago that are reasonably priced. This relationship is not salvageable at this point and I need to find a new place to live.

I have beaten the system. I have won. My Location is Chicago and my alias is Sad Single Bear.

Love Más

Well, we knew the glory couldn’t last. 

In this episode, the Roommate Lovers completely fail to answer listener-submitted advice questions/be funny & sexy. OH WAIT, JUST KIDDING. THEY ANSWER THEM SO GOOD AND SO FUNNY AND SO SEXY. DUH. 

Questions include: How do I meet the one? Is it weird to bring my own food to a wedding? What is wrong with no having a bed frame?

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Want your question answered on the show? Submit ANONYMOUSLY through our Google Form here.

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Find the Patreon here!

Wanna start a podcast? Check out Buzzsprout using this link and get a $20 Amazon gift card when you sign up for 2 months!

Need groceries? Sign up for Instacart using this link to help support the show and get FOOD. Free shipping over $35.

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Find Roommate Lovers on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram. For videos of Kyle & Maggie, check out Make It Up Media on YouTube.  

Produced by Maggie Smith, Kyle Mantegna, Alex Romero, Mariah Michael, Clark Pavlik

Narrated by Beth Kuhn, Theme Music by Kyle Mantegna & Maggie Smith, Edit Kyle Mantegna

Los Angeles

Alias: The doodle bop general

I’m having a hard time finding love. I’ve tried the apps but didn’t really enjoy the process of it all. Any advice on other ways to meet new people and hopefully meet that special someone? 

Wedding

Alias: Fry Dippy

I'm at my cousin's wedding. They are having a mostly seafood dinner options, which I saw beforehand. I asked if I could supply my own food to the bride/groom, and they said it was okay. So I ordered and got delivery from a fast food place and now I'm eating it but I'm getting a lot of side eye from others (including the bride/groom) what should i do? To dip or not to dip? 

Instagram Q:

Can you tell me EXACTLY what is wrong with not having a bed frame?

Chekhov's Spider-Man

Call the Roommate Lovers "Buffy" cuz they have slayed again. 

Questions include: What do I do if my partner is allergic to my cat? How do you maintain an apartment temperature you both are happy with? Is pierogi a ravioli? 

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Want your question answered on the show? Submit ANONYMOUSLY through our Google Form here.

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Find Roommate Lovers on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram. For videos of Kyle & Maggie, check out Make It Up Media on YouTube.  

Find the Patreon here!

Need groceries? Sign up for Instacart using this link to help support the show and get FOOD. Free shipping over $35.

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Produced by Maggie Smith, Kyle Mantegna, Alex Romero, Mariah Michael, Clark Pavlik

Narrated by Beth Kuhn, Theme Music by Kyle Mantegna & Maggie Smith, Edit Kyle Mantegna

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Alias: must love dogs

In: Manhattan

My RL & I recently moved in together. They have a cat & I have a dog. When we had our own places, I'd sometimes show up with my dog and the animals would tolerate one another and then we'd go on our walk and leave the cat behind. Now that we're moved in though, it's a warzone. I don't want to get rid of my dog and they the same with the cat. Help.

Alias: 

Bam Margera

In: Northern Carolina

Who was the best spiderman in the MCU? 

Alias: Kat

In: Chicago

I am adopting a cat but my partner is allergic. What should I do? 

Where are you writing us from? Florida

Alias: Charlie

Simple question, difficult answer. You and your RL like the room temperature about 5 degrees different from what each other wants. How do you possibly maintain that relationship?

Alias: Your answer

IN: Northern Carolina

Is a perogi a ravioli? 

Tucked Or Untucked Sheets

The Roommate Lovers have skated down Mount Cool and stuck a REALLY cool landing this week, folks. Topics include -- waking up in the middle of the night, what makes a "farmer" a farmer, and a surprise visit from an ice cream truck. 

(Also. If anyone can tell us whether LA has a bunch of cockroaches or a bunch of water bugs, that'd be cool. Thx bye.)

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Want your question answered on the show? Submit ANONYMOUSLY through our Google Form here.

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Find Roommate Lovers on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram. For videos of Kyle & Maggie, check out Make It Up Media on YouTube.  

Find the Patreon here!

Need groceries? Sign up for Instacart using this link to help support the show and get FOOD. Free shipping over $35.

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Produced by Maggie Smith, Kyle Mantegna, Alex Romero, Mariah Michael, Clark Pavlik

Narrated by Beth Kuhn, Theme Music by Kyle Mantegna & Maggie Smith, Edit Kyle Mantegna

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Alias: Restless

In: Lake bluff

My RL likes to sleep with the blankets tucked. I prefer them untucked. However, even if I start the night out with untucked blankets, I awake the next morning with TUCKED BLANKETS. Am I being paranoid or is my RL genuinely TUCKING IN THE SHEETS while I sleep? This is next level.

Alias: Uncomfy in Cali

Writing from: California

I submitted a question here that got aired on the podcast! But, while listening with my RL i think they found out that I was the one who submitted the question... How should i handle this? 

Alias: Farmers only FARSE

In: Lincoln, NE

☹️ I've been going with my RL for about 2 years now and we met on farmers only. I came to find recently that he doesn't actually OWN a farm. Sure he has done work on farms and worked on my farm and knows his way around a tractor so I guess he is technically a farmer but I just assumed he had land of his own. Am I wrong for thinking he lied to me?

Alias: Not Charna

In: Chicago

I live with my SO and they are NOT funny. Like they make me laugh and they make their family laugh but, when it comes to actually write comedy, they are NOT funny. Do I tell them this or do I let them keep chasing the dream when I know full well, they are not going to succeed?

Alias: I hate Basketball

In: Chicago

My RL insists on watching every single NBA playoff game. Even if 2 games are happening at once, he will record 1 so he can watch the other after the first 1 wraps. I tried telling him that he could just as easily check the score and know who won but he claims "Where's the fun in that?" I'm starting to ask the same question about this relationship.

Carbonated Fruit-Flavored Water

The Roommate Lovers have made another banger of an ep, folks, and you can take that to the bank. 

Questions include: Why does my partner always fall asleep during movies? Is it rude to be late to a party? WHY IS MY PARTNER LAUGHING? 

We also touch back on love languages (previously discussed in "Moony & Prongs" episode) and what we have learned since then.

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Check out Chance's podcast "We Didn't Peak" (that we hear at the beginning!)  on Apple Podcasts or wherever you podcast.

Want your question answered on the show? Submit ANONYMOUSLY through our Google Form here.

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Find Roommate Lovers on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram. 

Find the Patreon here!

Wanna start a podcast? Check out Buzzsprout using this link and get a $20 Amazon gift card when you sign up for 2 months!

Produced by Maggie Smith, Kyle Mantegna, Alex Romero, Mariah Michael, Clark Pavlik

Narrated by Beth Kuhn, Theme Music by Kyle Mantegna & Maggie Smith, Edit Kyle Mantegna

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Alias: The Taste of Water

In: Grocery store parking lot

I was sent to the store the other day to grab some carbonated, fruit-flavored water. Specifically watermelon. I went down the aisles and found "Pasteque" from Lacroix. I brought it home and I was scolded. I was told that it wasn't watermelon. But it is watermelon. They wanted watermelon bubly. Is this like a Coke v Pepsi thing? I don't get it.

Alias: Bonkers

In: clown school

My SO & I are both clowns. though we do not perform together. With in-person performances coming back, we are excited to get back. However I've noticed that they are booking more gigs than me. I don't want to impose on their turf but also, they've seen me clown, I'm good at it. Would it be wrong to ask them for some of their gigs or play with them?

Alias: Movie enthusiast

In: The couch

My RL & I like to watch movies after dinner but before bed. When they suggest a movie, I agree & am an attentive audience member. However, when I suggest a movie, without fail, my RL will be asleep not even halfway through the movie. I don't want to wake them but also, I want to share this experience with them. My feelings are hurt. wake up please.

Alias: Fortnite love

In: Sweaty Sands

My RL and I enjoy playing Fortnite together. However, if they are every ahead of me while running from the storm or I get downed by another player, they will not revive me. It hurts my feelings but I also understand that this sounds childish. I should just be better at the game but also... please revive me. How do I tell them without sounding silly.

Alias: Iphone user

In: Detriot

My SO has been checking their phone recently and laughing and then putting it down. I ask what it is and then they get frustrated as if they have to let me in on the joke and now it's no longer funny. Are my feelings valid for wanting to know what they were laughing at or am I being intrusive?

Alias: Lexy

In: Tosche Station

My roommate lover frequently procrastinates getting ready, but covers for this by saying that it isn't fashionable to arrive to parties on time anyway. I say that our friends wouldn't have invited us if they didn't want us there, and it behooves us to be respectful and timely. What say you?

2,000 Ducats & Conan's Penultimate Show

The hosts have friggin’ done it again, so take that haters. This week, they answer your delicious, decadent relationship questions and they look good doing it. Not that you can see. This is a podcast. 

Questions include: What do I do about my bad kissing breath? How do I live with an ex after we break up? What is the plural of “Lego”? 

Check out the sketch Maggie & Kyle mention -- Yummy In My Tummy.

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Want your question answered on the show? Submit ANONYMOUSLY through our Google Form here.

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Find Roommate Lovers on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram. 

Find the Patreon here!

Wanna start a podcast? Check out Buzzsprout using this link and get a $20 Amazon gift card when you sign up for 2 months!

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Produced by Maggie Smith, Kyle Mantegna, Alex Romero, Mariah Michael, Clark Pavlik

Narrated by Beth Kuhn, Theme Music by Kyle Mantegna & Maggie Smith, Edit Kyle Mantegna

QUESTIONS:

Alias: Fresh

In: one bed one bath

Not sure if this is allowed, but thought I'd give it a try. I'm newly-ish single. I say ish because my RL and I broke up during covid but we still had to live together because - covid. It's been 4 months since the breakup and we're finally starting to look at other places to live. Do I help them in their hunt or just say see ya later & focus on me?

Alias: lego-loss

In: my kitchen

My RL thinks the plural of "Lego" is "Legos". I tried explaining that actually, that is not the case. The plural of "Lego" is "Lego". Lego has confirmed this. She got very defensive and told me to stop mansplaining to her. The last thing I want to do is demean my SO and partner and I wasn't trying to mansplain. But the plural of "Lego" is "Lego"

Alias: Refreshing flavor

In: Jewel Osco

When my RL first started dating, I made a point to use a listerine strip or pop a breath mint before I gave them a kiss. They have recently asked why I taste bad when we kiss. and I was under the impression that we were familiar enough that we didn't have to mask our breath. I think they taste fine. my feelings are hurt. Help.

Alias: Tourist

In: New York 

My RL and I have lived together for about 3 years in NYC. They are from NY but I grew up in Utah. I've always wanted to see the statue of liberty but my RL insists that it's "touristy". I get that but I've also never seen it in person. I would like to be able to say I've been there at least once but they refuse. Do I just go alone?

Alias: Radio ga ga

In: open road

I enjoy listening to NPR whereas my RL likes listening to WBBM. We only have one turn dial radio so it's difficult to catch the latest news scoops. I think WBBM is a bit right-leaning and they think NPR is the pulpit where socialistic-liberalism was born. I'm thinking we might be drifting apart but do I tell them it's because of our radio choices?

State Of The Room

Hey, Listen! 

Maggie & Kyle discuss the STATE OF THE ROOM so far as well as the regular listener-submitted questions (What would Saria say if we told her we were going to save the room?).

Topics include: Zelda drama, wedding drama, and underwear with holes drama. 

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Want your question answered on the show? Submit ANONYMOUSLY through our Google Form here.

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Vote for Maggie and Kyle in Battle Of The Sketches! --

• It's free!

• Vote for"Romantic Rain Scene" (in the Funniest Rom-Com Category)

• And check out the other sketches MIUM has in the festival like "Love Your Oven" (in Music Video Category) and "Fortnite" (in Funniest Commercial Category).

• NOTE: You do have to sign-in; in order to vote, you have to WATCH the individual sketch and then AFTER watching, click the menu (at the top) and select "Audience Choice Voting".

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Find Roommate Lovers on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram. For videos of Kyle & Maggie, check out Make It Up Media on YouTube.  

Find the Patreon here!

Need groceries? Sign up for Instacart using this link to help support the show and get FOOD. Free shipping over $35.

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Produced by Maggie Smith, Kyle Mantegna, Alex Romero, Mariah Michael, Clark Pavlik

Narrated by Beth Kuhn, Theme Music by Kyle Mantegna & Maggie Smith, Edit Kyle Mantegna

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Alias: dairy-are you kidding me?

In: aisle 5

My RL loves to conserve as MUCH as possible but it's becoming a problem. They recently got mad at me for dumping the milk out. it had expired over a week and a half ago but they insisted as long as it stayed cold, it was still good. Maybe I have a sensitive pallet but I could tell it was sour. They said, that just adds dynamics to the flavor. Gross 

Alias: Hey Listen!

In: Hyrule

My RL is a big Zelda fan, and two nights ago I told her that Skyward Sword was the best Zelda game. To be honest, that's the only one I've played. She was completely insulted, told me I was wrong (she says Ocarina of Time was the best game), and is still mad at me. I think this argument is silly, but how do I get her to see that?

Alias: Wedding Bliss

In: The Alter

My RL & I are getting married, but my future MIL is pushing her opinions on EVERYTHING (colors, flowers, my dress, his tux, our wedding party, and so on). They aren't all bad, but they're just not what we envision for our big day. You guys are getting married, so I wanted to ask how you would deal with this so no one gets mad. SAVE OUR WEDDING!

 Alias: NOT-Sports fan

In: Chicago

My RL is a big sports fan. I tolerate sports @ best. This time of year is very sports-heavy with the MLB in full swing & the NHL & NBA playoffs. So, sports are on CONSTANTLY in the house. They say they like watching it because it doesn't have a script & it's unpredictable but I find it to be incredibly boring. How do I tell them I'm "Sports-d out"?

Alias: Rocking the Rocks

In: Down Under

I love my RL. He's smoking hot. However, he refuses to throw out his holey underwear. I love him and he's got a rockin' pair of danglers, but at the same time, I don't need to see them right before bed. Do I throw them out and not tell him, or do I just buy him more underwear? Or do we throw out underwear altogether? HELP!

Polly Want A Roommate

The hosts really do it this time folks, and by “it” I mean answer your questions about relationships. 

Fact check: The story Kyle brings up about the tardigrades is, like, two years old.

Questions include: Can you date a person who is interviewing you for a new job? Should you move in with someone with a bird? How do I handle a picky travel partner?

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Want your question answered on the show? Submit ANONYMOUSLY through our Google Form here.

///---///

Vote for Maggie and Kyle in Battle Of The Sketches! --

• It's free!

• Vote for"Romantic Rain Scene" (in the Funniest Rom-Com Category)

• And check out the other sketches MIUM has in the festival like "Love Your Oven" (in Music Video Category) and "Fortnite" (in Funniest Commercial Category).

• NOTE: You do have to sign-in; in order to vote, you have to WATCH the individual sketch and then AFTER watching, click the menu (at the top) and select "Audience Choice Voting".

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Find Roommate Lovers on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram. For videos of Kyle & Maggie, check out Make It Up Media on YouTube.  

Find the Patreon here!

Wanna start a podcast? Check out Buzzsprout using this link and get a $20 Amazon gift card when you sign up for 2 months!

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Produced by Maggie Smith, Kyle Mantegna, Alex Romero, Mariah Michael, Clark Pavlik

Narrated by Beth Kuhn, Theme Music by Kyle Mantegna & Maggie Smith, Edit Kyle Mantegna

Ross And Rachel

The Roommate Lovers are more helpful than ever in this “award”-winning episode where they answer listener-submitted questions.  Also in this episode, our hosts are proud to introduce the ground-breaking KEYHOLDER segment where they must read whatever question is posed to them, courtesy of their Patreon supporters.

Questions include: Is he cheating on me? Should we get a dog? Will my partner ever stop doing bits?

Want your question answered on the show? Submit ANONYMOUSLY through our Google Form here.

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Find Roommate Lovers on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram. For videos of Kyle & Maggie, check out Make It Up Media on YouTube.  

Find the Patreon here!

Wanna start a podcast? Check out Buzzsprout using this link and get a $20 Amazon gift card when you sign up for 2 months!

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Produced by Maggie Smith, Kyle Mantegna, Alex Romero, Mariah Michael, Clark Pavlik

Narrated by Beth Kuhn, Theme Music by Kyle Mantegna & Maggie Smith, Edit Kyle Mantegna

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Alias: Respected

I used to go to the bar with my RL about once a week prior to the shutdown. We would always meet up with their friends and I was considered "One of the guys" but when I suggest we invite some of my friends, they're hesitant to "disrupt the dynamic we've built" is this a fair point, or are they just not wanting to hang with my friends?

 Alias: Annoyed

In: NOT A THEATER

I am going steady with an improviser. They are CONSTANTLY doing what they call "Bits". I used to find them charming but now they are downright annoying. I used to hate when they would go out to shows until 2 AM but since the pandemic, I feel like I'm getting the brunt of all the "bits". How do I tell them to stop?

 Alias: grossed out

In: a dog shelter

MY RL has a heart of gold and wants to adopt every single animal but we went to the dog shelter today to see if we could sign up to volunteer and she fell in love with this 13 YO Mut who has an infected eye, crusty nose and wears a diaper. She wants to adopt it and I firmly put my foot down. The pup deserves love, but we are not equipped for this.

 Alias: Cornered

In: the laundromat

My RL and I divvy up the chores and I do laundry for us every week. I recently came back from the laundromat and my RL discovered a pair of women's underwear in the bundle that does NOT belong to her. She accused me of cheating but I tried to explain that it was probably just leftover from the dryer. How do I prove to her this was a mistake?